LANCE KLUSENER OF ZULULAND

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11-Jun-99

Sports report: Lance Klusener, mercurial batsman for the South African and Natal cricket teams, and renowned big hitter, always has the crowd on its toes in anticipation of yet another thrilling innings.

Sometimes he doesn't get so lucky...........

Lance Klusener of Zululand
By the nine gods he swore
That off the Kiwi bowlers
He'd smash a healthy score
Unbeaten in the series
At least, until this day
He'd wielded his mighty bat
And smote the ball away.

So feeling pretty sharp he was
On the day the match was played
But sitting in the clubhouse
His appearance was delayed
The openers, Gibbs and Kirsten
Were nicely on the ball
It seemed our famous batsman
Might not bat at all.

Then halfway through the innings
Kirsten was dismissed
And Hansie turned to Klusener
And said, Lance I must insist
The crowd have come to see you
You're the star of our eleven
So you go in at number three
Instead of number seven

So Lance took up his mighty club
And strode out to the wicket
And there he faced first ball of all
And frankly failed to pick it.
No matter, for it missed the stumps
So he could face another
And he coolly smashed a boundary
Right over extra cover.

He's off, the commentator cried
Expecting more of same
When Lance has got his eye in
You know you've got a game
And so the next delivery
Came flying down the track
And castled mighty Klusener
And sent him walking back!

Well, in the end we won the match
So we haven't to complain
And those who came to watch our boy -
Well, at least it didn't rain.
But yes, the mighty sometimes fall
And barely make a score
And that's how Lance's innings went
Howzat!  Clean bowled, for four!

With apologies to McCauley, and congratulations to Klusener on a brilliant
run, from which today's unfortunate dismissal takes nothing away.
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