POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE
News reports: London gears up for the wedding of Prince Edward and Miss Sophie Rhys-Davies.
Date: 1999/06/18
TV News tonight, reporting on tomorrow's royal wedding, announced that the event would not feature the pomp associated with other royal weddings. I presume that the Prince and his new bride will wait until after the guests have gone home. It is customary for the Poet Laureate to pen a verse or two to celebrate such things. Unfortunately, my application for the post was turned down - Affirmative Action, you know, they only take Brits - but nevertheless I have decided to produce something anyway: A pomp's a pomp, ou Eddie And I hope that you're quite ready Cause Sophie R's A shapely r's And should be good in beddy. Don't land up like boet Andy Whose fame was being randy But what's a dick Without a chick? So Andy's stuck with handy. But Charles, I see, 's in clover United with his lover The Parker-Bowles He nobly rolls The royal leg right over. Despite all this pooh-poohing That the nobles are all doing It still ensures The throne endures Through all this royal screwing. With apologies to all royalists, prudes and people who think that this has nothing to do with za.politics. Oh, and apologies to the Poet Laureate, of course (whoever got the job in the end). Sadly, I fear he is not permitted as much literary licence - er , license - as I.