Date: 1999/07/03
Our reporters remain holed up in the High Court at Johannesburg, waiting for
the case of Swede vs Turnip.
Yesterday, they heard the intriguing case of The State vs Steele Hammer and
a Certain Number of Others.
The State, represented by Ms Sweetness Tombazi, SC, was seeking a Court
Order compelling Mr Hammer and Others to ensure that the national rugby
team, aka the amaBokoboko, be composed of not less than 9.7 blacks, 3.86
whites, comma nine four of a coloured, and half an Indian, rounded off to
the nearest man.
Mr Justice Utshwala, presiding, asked the applicant to explain just what Mr
Hammer and the Others had to do with the composition of the national rugby
team.
MS TOMBAZI: I am advised, your Worship, that Mr Hammer is the coach, and
the Others are the selectors and the players.
JUDGE: Hau! I always thought that the coach was Mr Nick Mallett. (Gasps in court)
After consultation with her client, Ms Tombazi returned.
MS TOMBAZI: I am advised, your Worship, that Mr Mallett, at the request
of the sponsors, has changed his name to Steele Hammer.
JUDGE: Why? (Dead silence in court)
After much more consultation with her client, Ms Tombazi advised the court
that the sponsors felt that Nick Mallett was okay, but Steele Hammer would
have more impact.
In keeping with the fine judicial traditions established over many years,
the proceedings were adjourned sine die.
For those readers unfamiliar with Legal Latin, "sine die" means that the
Court doesn't give a damn how long you have to wait for justice.
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