2001-12-25 09:27:25 PST
The Nymandhlovu Cleft Stick and Messenger reports that the zealots on the
Zimbabwe Broadcasting Corporation have issued their Christmas list. This is
a list of songs that may not be played on air, because they are not in
Muga.........., er, that is, national interest.
These include """"The Little Drummer Boy", "Oh little Town of Bethlehem," "I'm
Dreaming of a White Christmas," and "Tannenbaum."
"The Little Drummer Boy" has been banned because it is not acceptable to use
the term "boy", even if the person referred to is both little, and happens
to have a drum.
"Oh Little Town of Bethlehem" is a no-no because, according to Mugabe
spin-doctor, Jonothan Moyo, he has been to Bethlehem, and it is quite a
large town, indeed, quite the largest place between Harrismith and
Kroonstad.
It is also common knowledge that, in Bethlehem, there is no reliable record
whatsoever of there ever having been three wise men, or a virgin.
"I'm dreaming of a White Christmas" has been banned for obvious reasons.
White Christmases have been a thing of the past for two decades now.
Recently, however, it appears that even the black folk of Zimbabwe are
wishing that they could get back to having White Christmases. It appears
that the more the comrades take over the formerly white-owned houses in
Borrowdale, the slimmer are the pickings for those who go looking for
Christmas boxes.
"Tannenbaum" has been banned because it praises the Jewish capitalist
colonialists. When asked exactly what was meant by this, Moyo explained
that when he was a kid, Rosenbaum had the general dealer, Greenbaum had the
chemist, and he couldn't actually remember who Tannenbaum was, but he didn't
want to hear his name lauded in song.
When the NCS&M tried to explain that Tannenbaum wasn't a Jewish
businessmen, Moyo cut short the press conference and departed in a huff and
a Mercedes Benz.
previous article next article back to contents