Date: 2002-01-28 20:44:40 PST
The Nymandhlovu Cleft Stick and Messenger has uncovered sensational new
information about the decline and fall of the civilisation that once
flourished at Great Zimbabwe, which, as everyone knows, was just south of
Masvingo, turn left at the Shell Ultra City.
Up till now, all the experts believed that Great Zimbabwe became unliveable
around the 16th Century due to a combination of overpopulation (too many
people trying to live in too small an area) and drought.
However, according to Mr Hindsight Chipata, an oral historian from Mvuma,
this is horseshit.
Mr Chipata, who operates from a tree near the National Road, has committed
to memory the entire history of the Shona peoples and their precursors,
which means that many questions that have previously puzzled historians can
now be answered.
Consequently, it can now be stated that the reason that the flourishing
civilisation of Great Zimbabwe saw its arse around 1560 was because of the
election of a ZANU PF government around 1559.
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