The Dark Continent
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5 August 2002
Nyamandhlovu, Monday From Analysis Khumalo, Political Reporter.
The Nymandhlovu Cleft Stick and Messenger is justly famous for its in-depth analysis of all things important on the African continent. This is why it is following with keen interest the debate on who shall succeed Daniel Arap Moi as President of Kenya, if the old bugger can ever be persuaded to leave office in anything less than a hearse.
Accordingly, the NCS&M has noted with interest the posting by Matunda Nyanchama, (part of which is appended at the end of this article.) We asked Professor Isosceles Vilakazi, the well-known academic, inventor and political observer, for his comments. (The NCS&M is particularly fortunate, because, being based at Nymandhlovu, just like the Prof, we do not have to incur the cost of long distance telephone calls to seek his comments. We just send Solomon on a bicycle with the message in a Cleft Stick. This is why we are called the Cleft Stick and Messenger.)
(Why did you put that in? Isn't it glaringly obvious to our readers? Ed.)
(To most. But apparently some of our readers are very dof. Analysis.)
Professor Vilakazi has observed that most of the potential candidates are simply unsuitable because of their names. You cannot expect to enjoy the respect and assistance of the international community when the international community cannot remember your name, (and wouldn't be able to pronounce it if they could.) However, said the Prof, what was far more interesting was the remark by Mr Nyanchama that "The person needs to measure up with leading lights on the African continent such as South Africa's Thabo Mbeki......."
The Professor observed that, if Thabo Mbeki is a leading light, it's no bloody wonder that Africa is the Dark Continent. The world's press have pronounced themselves amazed at the Professor's perspicacity, with the exception of the political editor of the Harare Herald, who thought that perspicacity was what you got when you rode your bicycle to work on a hot and sweaty morning.
* *
* Matunda
Nyanchama <[email protected]> wrote ...........
> The next Kenyan president needs to be a person of immense
public
> accomplishment and experience considering the challenges the
country
> faces. She/he must be a person that can comprehend and
grapple with the
> nation's complex politics, arbitrate among the competing
interests,
> successfully run the economy, ensure security and restore
the country's
> diminished international stature. In a word, it must be
someone whose
> word carries authority and has a "can do" record
and attitude and will
> have the ability to arbitrate in the complex, often
competing, national,
> regional and international interests.
>
> The person needs to measure up with leading lights on the
African
> continent such as South Africa's Thabo Mbeki,
Nigeria's Olesegun
> Obasanjo and Senegal's Abdoulaye Wade, the trio that has
injected new
> thinking to the African psyche and who are at the forefront
in
> championing African solutions internationally.