Date: 1999/08/25
Sensational news just in is that the case brought by Stefan the Swede
against Sabsy the Turnip has been dismissed with costs.
Readers will recall that Stefan was suing Sabsy because the Xhosa killed
Andries Stockenstrom back in 1812.
The court has now ruled that neither Sabsy in particular nor the Xhosa in
general can be held responsible for the death of Col Stockenstrom.
Stockenstrom was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and was therefore
responsible for his own death.
In explaining his verdict, Mr Justice Miscarriage Ngwena, cited the recently
decided amnesty case heard by the TRC. In the matter of the Weakly
brothers, who were killed by the Xhosa in Transkei a few years ago, the TRC
has ruled that the Weakly brothers were responsible for their own deaths,
because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Consequently, the
killers cannot be held responsible for having killed them.
The verdict has useful implications in South African justice, because it
means that we can save a lot of money on murder trials. If a white South
African is always in the wrong place at the wrong time, then a black South
African can kill a white South African any time he wishes.
Asked if this didn't seem to be a bit unfair, the Judge looked puzzled. "I
don't see what's unfair about it." he said.
Stefan has been told to piss off back to Sweden or Arizona or wherever, and
not try to make an issue about an entirely trivial affair like the death of
a white man.
Our reporters have since left the court and returned to Cape Town. Their
next assignment will be Parliament.
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