2000/04/24
Professor Isosceles Vilikazi of Nyamandhlovu, the well-known inventor,
academic and political analyst, has at last broken his silence on the recent
summit conference between Presidents Mugabe, Mbeki and Chissano.
Asked why it took so long to break his silence, the Professor explained.
"It was a shocked silence. It takes much longer to break a shocked silence
than it takes to break an ordinary one."
On the subject of Presidents Mbeki and Chissano coming out in support of
Robert Mugabe, Vilikazi observed:
"They may look like Neville Chamberlain, and they may sound like Neville
Chamberlain, but I never thought they would actually be so bloody stupid as
to behave like Neville Chamberlain."
He then left the room, muttering. The press corps remained, sitting in a
silence which has not been broken yet. It has been suggested that they are
experiencing a puzzled silence, which takes longer to break than a shocked
one. This is because none of them know who Neville Chamberlain is, or was,
or what he does, or did.
The only development so far has been a loud noise from the representative of
the Zimbabwe Herald. It was thought that this might have been the breaking
of the silence, but it turned out in fact to be the breaking of a wind.
While this did not provide any new insight into the situation, it did have
the effect of clearing the room, which the cleaners are now getting sorted
out for tomorrow's press conference.
Vilikazi is expected to appear again, and it is hoped he will explain what
he meant by his muttered words as he left the room.
According to the scribe from Time Magazine, the words sounded vaguely like
"Peace in our time my fucking foot."
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