CHAMPION OF LAW AND ORDER
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Date: 2000/04/25


Professor Isosceles Vilikazi of Nyamandhlovu, the well-known inventor,
academic and political observer, today cancelled his scheduled press
conference.

Ms Gladys Dongo, his devoted companion and press secretary, explained that
the Professor liked to present the lighter side of things. Today, however,
his heart was too heavy to speak.

It was reported on the news that more MDC supporters had been beaten to
death. ZANU supporters were transported in buses and lorries to start
occupying new farms.

Meanwhile, the Saturday Star arrived from South Africa. The headline hailed
President Mugabe as "a champion of law and order." The remark was
attributed to Mocambican President Joaquim Chissano, but apparently had the
endorsement of South African President Thabo Mbeki.

It is believed that Professor Vilikazi has gone into seclusion, unable to
believe that even the successor of the illustrious Nelson Mandela has now
turned against the people of Zimbabwe.

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