Someone calling themselves ClickAfrique.com spammed the newsgroup with the following advertisement:
> Dear All,
>
> ** Solar Powered Mosquito Repellent Key-Ring. **
> ** Solar Powered AM\FM Torch Radio. **
>
> We have just added these two products to our shops product
range, and feel
> these will be of interest to seasoned and first-time
visitors to Africa or
> as gifts for friends in Africa. etc
etc etc
Vilakazi on Solar Powered Mosquito Repellent / Torch Radio
Date: 2001-09-24 00:00:23 PST
Professor Isosceles Vilakazi, the
well-known inventor, academic and
political observer, has contacted his lawyers, following the
advertising, on
soc.culture.zimbabwe, of a Solar Powered Mosquito Repellent Key
Ring, and a
Solar Powered AM/FM Torch Radio.
Speaking from his laboratory at Nyamandhlovu, the Professor
explained that
his dispute with messrs ClickAfrique dot com did not arise out of
any
infringement of patents.
"If these malungus invented such things," he said,
"they are welcome to
market and sell them. However, I object to them selling them on
this
newsgroup. Especially when they have the fucking cheek to stick a
nospam in
their e-mail address. This is the height of bloody
insolence."
The Professor pointed out that, although he himself had invented
many great
inventions, he had never sunk to the level of trying to sell them
via the
newsgroup.
A junior hack from the International Shurugwe Herald observed
that most, if
not all, of Vilakazi's inventions had indeed received great
coverage on
soc.culture.zimbabwe. Surely, he asked, that was also spamming?
Vilakazi replied, with a snort of derision, that this was not
advertising.
These inventions had made newsgroup headlines for the sole reason
that they
were newsworthy. He cited the case of the Zimbabwean Fitness
Flyer, upon
which his protege, Miss Gladys Dongo, had set up a number of
world records
which still stood, even though Gladys didn't.
These included the fastest time over the quarter mile, the
greatest number
of mopane trees mown down in a single journey, the Zimbabwean
land speed
record, the fastest trip between Lupane and Victoria Falls
Bridge, and the
most effective demolition of a border post (this being the
Zambian pillbox
on the far side of the said bridge.)
Professor Vilikazi declined to answer any further questions, and
referred
all further enquiries to his attorney, Mr Litigation Kumalo.
(Proceeding)