gwynn <[email protected]> wrote
>
> Nkayi? Cocktail bar? you gotta be kidding, I used to work in Nkai in the old
> days....cocktail bar?
> hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


2001-10-22 09:50:01 PST 

The Nyamandhlovu Cleft Stick and Messenger reports that Prof Jonathan Moyo,
Zimbabwe's Chief Witch Doctor (er, shouldn't that be "spindoctor?" - ed) has
expressed his extreme displeasure at the way the mlungus are knocking the
status of the cocktail bar at Nyaki.

"Just because the bar is run by blacks doesn't mean that it isn't as good as
any other cocktail bar," he said.  He added that he, personally, had drunk
in bars all over the world, and found the bar at Nyaki far superior to
places such as Raffles, the Waldorf Astoria, or anything in Las Vegas.

He pointed out that the cocktails in Nyaki were far more satisfying,
especially the Rufaro that came in the milk-carton.

He also admitted to a fondness for skokiaan, especially when prepared with a
few human body parts floating on the surface.

Meanwhile, the manager of the said bar, equally stung by the suggestion that
his establishment isn't up to world standards, has announced a new list of
cocktails that will be available from next Friday night.  The NCS&M was able
to obtain a preview of the menu:

Huvvy Wolbenger	skokiaan & oros with a drizzle of Black Label floating on the top
Brendy Elecsender	methylated spirits, strained through brown bread, flavoured with pieces of Alexander, formerly the chap who cleaned the cars in the parking lot
Ta Killer Sunrise	methylated spirits, not strained through brown bread
Rusty Nell	Castle Golden Pilsener, with a couple of old rusty nails in the bottom of the glass
Screwdriver	125mls Meadow Late Harvest, topped up with Viagra
Sideycar	1 bottle Old Buck Gin, drunk while sitting on the crossbar of Philemon Kumalo's bicycle