AMBITIOUS PLANS FOR NYAMANDHLOVU CLEFT STICK & MESSENGER
Date: 2001-11-01 08:43:14 PST
The Nymandhlovu Cleft Stick and
Messenger has recently obtained a copy of
the London Times. It was found in a PK in Hwange, but is thought
originally to have been from the Bulawayo Room of the Victoria
Falls Hotel,
where people sit on their bottoms and actually read the
newspapers.
As is well-known, the London Times is most definitely a Festy
Weld paper,
whereas the Nyamandhlovu Cleft Stick and Messenger is generally
regarded as
a Teddy Weld journal.
However, Editor in Chief, Mr Ballpoint Lumumba, has great plans
for the
humble NCS&M. Now that he has got a REAL newspaper in his
hands, he is
determined to use it as a model, so that one day people will
speak of The
Nyamandhlovu Cleft Stick and Messenger with the same awe as they
now speak of
The Times, The Telegraph, Der Frankfurter Allgemeine, Le Monde,
and The New
York Times. Not forgetting the #¥¤¢±µµ »¿ø§¥¤¤ from
Tokyo, and The Aussie
Guide to Easy Sheilas.
Accordingly, there are plans to introduce some highbrow content.
While this
may not actually increase circulation (there aren't many
highbrows in
Nyamandhlovu) it is felt that it might attract a better quality
of
readership, that is to say, people who actually pay for the
newspaper,
instead of nicking it from Ramgoolam's General Dealer and Trading
Store when
Ram has his back turned.
The NCS&M has also acquired a catapult, thereby enabling
local subscribers
to receive their copies by airmail.