COURT AND SOCIAL
2001-11-02
Following the acquisition of a copy of The
Times of London, the Nyamandhlovu Cleft Stick and Messenger is
inspired to report on high society events in our area.
ENGAGEMENTS
Mr Gladstone Mfundi has announced that, despite dialling until
his fingers were sore, he was unable to get through to Mr Telecom
Mbanda of Bulawayo, as the line was engaged for the whole
weekend.
BIRTHS
The following births were announced this week in Nyamandhlovu.
KHUMALO, to Caiphas and Sweetness, a bouncing baby boy, born
Monday. Mother and child both well. Thanks to doctors and staff
of Nyamandhlovu Clinic.
KHUMALO, to Caiaphas and Patience, a fine son, born Monday, at
home. Thanks to District Travelling Sister.
KHUMALO, to Caiaphas and Siphiwe, a healthy son, born Wednesday.
Thanks to proprietor and customers of Tsholotso Trading Store and
General dealer.
KHUMALO, to Caiaphas and wife # 17 (name to be advised later), a
lovely daughter, born Tuesday. Thanks to the manufacturers of
Viagra.
KHUMALO, to Caiaphas and the hot little number he met at the
beerdrink last Christmas, an unexpected son. Mother and child
doing well. Lawyers in hot pursuit of Chief Caiaphas for costs of
confinement and maintenance.
KHUMALO, to Caiaphas and wife # 3 (the one he hasn't slept with
in years), a charming little girl, born Wednesday. Thanks to
Father Bernard of St Columbus Mission, or possibly the travelling
salesman for Coca Cola, but we'll let you know as soon as the
paternity tests come back from Bulawayo.
PEOPLE ON THE MOVE
Mr Herdboy Ngube of Nymandhlovu has recently returned to
Nymandhlovu, after spending a few days in Bulawayo and the
weekend in Tsholotsho. The visit to Bulawayo was occasioned by
his wishing to see relatives he hadn't seen in weeks. The visit
to Tsholotsho was the result of his being too drunk too get off
the bus at Nyamandhlovu on the way back, and landing up at
Tsholotso instead.
GLITTERING SOCIETY RECEPTION
All of Nymandhlovu's rich and famous turned out last week for the
beer drink at Chief Mpata's kraal. Restrained hob-nobbing soon
turned to merriment as the beer flowed, after which voices were
raised, tempers flared, and some of the party resorted to
knobkerries in order to get their views heard. The Nymandhlovu
District Ambulance, under the command of Mr Sparkplug Ngonyama,
did sterling service, and not a few lives were saved. The ZRP
were present, in the form of Inspector Lawless Skabenga and three
sergeants. However, as they were themselves involved in the
fighting, they could hardly be expected to break it up, could
they? No arrests were made, and all in all, the function was
regarded as so successful that it is hoped to make it an annual
event.