2001-11-02 18:08:49 PST
Movies: viewers will be able to catch the screening of the classic film,
Gone with the Wind, this weekend. Actually, the ZBC broadcast it last week,
but Nyamandhlovu is very remote, so it takes a while for the signal to get
here.
Cabaret: Miss Buxom Ntandi belts out standards at St Faith's Mission,
Wednesdays. Entry is free, but you are invited to contribute ZWD5 to have
your soul redeemed. Ear plugs recommended.
Eating out: Nyamandhlovu's latest hot venue for al fresco dining is
Ramgoolam's Trading Store, which recently lost its roof in a fire. Menu
favourites include hot tins of baked beans, hot tins of pilchards, in fact,
hot tins of anything. Regrettably, anything that wasn't in tins didn't
survive the conflagration, so those wishing to have bread or sadza better
bring their own.
Nyamandhlovu to host film crew: Mr Hollywood Chipembere, the movie mogul
from Kwe Kwe, has selected Nyamandhlovu as the location for his next
production. This is because he doesn't like the location in Harare, or the
one in Bulawayo.
It will be a megastar production, and Mr Chipembere is planning to engage
top international stars, including Woody Allen, Eddie Murphy, and the three
Bridges brothers, Jeff, Beau and Bles. It will be an exciting film about
life on safari, with Woody Allen playing the great white hunter. Eddie
Murphy will play the intrepid tracker, for which role he will cling to a
tiny seat attached to the back of the Land Rover, and call everybody
"Bwana."
This will be an adult flick, and both Woody Allen and Eddie Murphy have
stated that they will not object to playing nude scenes as long as they are
tasteful and in context. However, Mr Murphy has stated that he will not be
prepared to stick his finger into any buffalo shit in order to hazard a
guess as to how long since they passed by.
The Alfred Hitchcock Organisation has offered to purchase ANY footage of
Woody Allen in the nude.
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