From a reader: > Where is your sister Janice?

2001-11-02 18:08:21 PST 

The Nyamandhlovu Cleft Stick and Messenger reports that Janice Dongo has
been keeping a low profile lately.  This is quite an achievement, because
the Dongo family are hard to miss in any company.  When you have vital
statistics of 127 - 127-137,  you are likely to impress, especially if you
fall face down in soft earth.

However, Janice has gone to ground at a finishing school in Switzerland,
where she is polishing up her elocution and table manners.  When you eat
sadza-nyama without the aid of a knife and fork, there are particular ways
of holding your fingers, and licking them, that separate the cultured from
the rest.  Also, drinking tea in an elegant manner is more of a challenge
when you are using a tin mug.  It's simply not enough to stick out the
little finger.

Janice is hoping to graduate in time for the death of Robert Mugabe, and
hopes to be appointed Senior Cheer Leader at the celebrations.