>News Report: Zimbabwe in Critical Shortage of Fertilizer
>
> HARARE, Dec 9, 2001 (Xinhua via COMTEX) -- The Zimbabwe Farmers Union (ZFU) is
> lobbying the government to facilitate entry of new players into the fertilizer
> industry following the critical shortage, according to the Zimbabwe News Agency
> on Sunday.
>
> The report said there was a shortage of fertilizers at most Grain Marketing
> Board depots and as a result of this shortage, farmers were planting without
> fertilizers and this would impact on the yields.
The Nyamandhlovu Cleft Stick and Messenger reports that the problem is hugely
exaggerated.
Nyamandhlovu, of course, is the home of Professor Isosceles Vilakazi, the
well-known inventor, academic, political observer, and agronomist.
Consequently, it was easy for the Editor in Chief of the NCS&M to obtain an
interview, by the simple expedient of riding his bicycle out to the
Professor's Kraal just off the Falls Road. (Lesser media, like CNN, Time,
the Wall Street Journal, and the Times of London, cannot do this, because
they don't have the bicycle.)
Professor Vilakazi confirmed that there is indeed a critical shortage of
fertiliser in Zimbabwe. However, he said that the country did not need to
worry about this.
"Zimbabwe will be okay," said the Prof, "because even though we can't get
fertilizer, the country is now so deep in the shit that record crop yields
are expected."
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