Worth the paper it's printed on
2002-07-25 22:40:15 PST
Reader's
Letter: > > I suspect that the Govt. of
Zimbabwe is busy printing more Zimbabwean dollar banknotes (or
having others print them) and one sees lots of new banknotes in
circulation (is this the case?).
>
> The Nyamandhlovu Cleft Stick & Messenger reports that
the economy is set to
> receive a major boost, with the injection of ZWD1000 Billion
into the
> economy.
>
> This is the result of an agreement just concluded, whereby
banknotes will
> now be printed in Zimbabwe, on Zimbabwean produced paper,
too.
>
> A spokesman for the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe, Mr Devaluation
Mazunga,
> explained that banknotes printed in other countries were too
expensive, and
> very often printed on paper produced in Western countries
that practiced
> both capitalism and colonialism.
>
> "It would be an affront to our national pride to
continue using such paper
> currency," he said. "It's no better than toilet
paper."
>
> The contract for printing the new banknotes has been awarded
to the
> Zimbabwean branch of Kimberly-Clarke. This firm will be
using the latest
> technology, for which it is world famous. The banknotes will
come in rolls
> of 200 sheets, for the single ply version, and 100 sheets
for the more
> luxurious two-ply version. Perforations will ensure that the
notes can
> easily be separated as required.
>
> It is expected that the notes will give new meaning to such
time-honoured
> expressions as "bankroll", "a soft
touch", and "payment in loo of."
>
> At the same time, the currency is to get a new name and
facelift. The term
> "dollar" has unfortunate connotations, being
linked with both the corrupt
> West, and the concept of prosperity, neither of which are
welcome in
> Zimbabwe. Henceforth, the unit of currency will be known as
the Chimbudzi.
> It will be available in units of Ch1000 000, Ch100 000, Ch10
000, and for
> small purchases like bread and sweets, or a half dozen eggs,
a five thousand
> Chimbudzi note will be printed.
>
> The notes will have a picture of a PK on the front, while
the reverse will
> feature scenes from everyday life in Zimbabwe. These include
a starving
> family, a gang rape, a wasted mielie field, and a picture of
Mrs Mugabe
> shopping for diamonds.
>
> The first consignment of the new banknotes will be delivered
to Parliament
> shortly. It is expected to arrive aboard a convoy of three
army lorries,
> and will be used to pay the salary of the President and his
buddies.
>
> If there is anything left over, it may go into general
circulation.