Dongo mission to Afghanistan (15):
Further Raleigh specs
Posting to newsgroup: > What about the
pump man what about the pump. Surely the most important part of
any mission ; and with no mention of its manufacture or cubic
capacity.
2001-10-09 22:43:56 PST
Um yes. The Nyamandhlovu Cleft Stick and Messenger wishes to apologise for excluding some of the most important technical information concerning the bicycle provided to Gladys Dongo for her invasion of Afghanistan. The omission arises because the Motoring Editor was not present when that edition went to press. He had been unavoidably detained at a beer drink and didn't get home till the next day. In his absence, the report was edited by the Fashion Correspondent, who did not appreciate the importance of things like pumps. The bicycle does indeed have a pump. It is of the reciprocating variety, that is to say, it goes in and out like a teenager in a hurry. It was made in England circa 1952. The actual cubic capacity is not known, but it takes about 180 strokes to bring Gladys' balloon tyres up to the desired pressure of 75kPa. Some folk have observed that 75kPa is seven and a half atmospheres, and rather more appropriate to a sixteen ton truck than a Raleigh Sports. However, it must be remembered that it has to carry Gladys Dongo, which is a load rather more appropriate to a sixteen ton truck rather than a Raleigh Sports ........ The bicycle is also equipped with lighting, via a dynamo fixed to the front right fork. Not only does it make a most interesting whirring sound, but it provides a considerable amount of light, especially when travelling downhill at speed. Impala and kudu stand transfixed in its beam as one hurtles towards them. In such circumstances, it is recommended that one blow the hooter or ring the bell, not that it has any effect. The dynamo is normally activated by stopping, dismounting, and depressing the metal catch, which causes the spring loaded cylinder to press the rotator against the front tyre. It IS possible to activate this while on the move, by removing the right foot from the pedal and extending the big toe until it makes contact with the metal catch. This manoeuvre, however, is recommended only for experts, as the consequences of getting your toe caught in the revolving spokes of the front wheel can be cataclysmic.